There are a few things writers can’t agree on, and how to write female characters is one of them. Any discussion around female characters is controversial. It’s a minefield where all the bombs are changing location, so you step on them every time.
The worst part of the discussion around female characters is that it shouldn’t have to be like that. I mean, female characters are a portrayal of women, who are half of the population. You would think it would be easy to write female characters, but you are wrong.
In this post, we’re entering this minefield with precaution. We’re going to talk about what makes a female character great, why you don’t want to step on a mine, common mistakes, and, more importantly, how to write female characters that feel like women.
Before we begin, I must mention that I’ll be speaking on popular opinions and my own. Please take this with a grain of salt.
Why People Get Female Characters Wrong
Many writers begin writing female characters by asking, “How do women think?” or “How should I write a female character?”
I’m sure the intent was good, but they already made their first mistake. The issue with these questions is that they’re assuming all women are fundamentally alike. In reality, women are just as varied and complex as men.
Women are people.
Some are ambitious. At the same time, others are content with a quiet life. Some are nurturing, while others are aggressive. Many have two contrasting qualities. Assuming all women are the same isn’t just insulting, but dehumanizing.
Every woman is an individual who has lived her own unique life and has her own experiences. She was fostered in a unique environment that shaped her to be the woman she is. Therefore, there’s no universal female experience.
Furthermore, is writing nothing but a reflection of how our world works? If there are many different versions of a woman, why only write one type? You’re limiting yourself and sabotaging your work by having such a limiting belief.
3 Different Types of Women
If I were to list all the different versions of a woman, you would never stop reading. To illustrate my point, I’ll introduce three different women in the media. They are: Ella Woods, Elizabeth Bennet, and Serena Joy Waterford.
Ella Woods
Ella Woods is a walking Barbie. She challenges stereotypes by embracing traditionally feminine interests such as makeup and fashion while being highly intelligent, hardworking, and resilient.
She is unashamedly feminine. She challenges the narrative of “dumb blonde”. Her story reminds us that femininity isn’t a weakness.
Elizabeth Bennet
Many people would describe Elizabeth Bennet as a sensible, witty, and intelligent character; at the same time, she is proud and prone to misjudging people. She isn’t flawless, just capable of making mistakes like everyone else.
Her strength comes from her convictions, not physical power. One of the most underrated lessons from Pride and Prejudice is that a woman doesn’t need a sword and be physically stronger than a man to be strong. Her mind in itself is her best weapon.
Serena Joy Waterford
Another thing I wanted to point out is that a female character doesn’t have to be likable to be complex. Serena is a manipulative, selfish, and conflicted character.
She is human in relatable ways. For example, Serena constantly contradicts herself. She is advocating for the oppressive regime of Gilaide that wants to silence women. She says she wants one thing, but is doing something entirely different.
She demonstrates that women can be morally grey and villainous.
Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Female Characters
These aren’t rules that you must follow. It’s just common mistakes that I see in the media. Sometimes you actually want to do the things I’m about to list, but I want you to do them consciously.
Frame this positively rather than a bunch of stuff you shouldn’t do.
Making her intricate personality revolve around men: If everything your female characters do is about or for men, then congratulations, you have failed to create a female character that feels like a woman.
Confusing strong with emotionally unavailable: There isn’t any more effective way to insult half of the population by implying that femininity equals weakness and masculinity is strength.
Writing flawless women: They don’t exist. You’re taking the fiction part of fiction writing too far.
Reducing her to a stereotype: If you want to write female characters that feel like women, then don’t make one stereotypical version of a woman.
Overemphasising her appearance: Unless her appearance is important to the narrative, don’t drop the exact measurements of her breasts.
Treating her as a symbol rather than a human being: Isn’t this one self-explanatory?
How to Write Female Characters That Feel Like Women
I have to admit something: there isn’t a single true formula to write female characters that feel like women, but I have a simple approach.
Use the following steps to write female characters that feel like women and less like a cliche.
Step 1: Write a Person First
To create a character that feels like a person, you have to think of them as a person. Many writers make the mistake of creating their character from a role like “princess” or “mother.”
If you begin with their roles, you’ll end up writing roles. Instead, focus on who they are as a person rather than their relation to other characters.
Ask:
- What’s she scared of?
- Who is she when she’s alone?
- Where does she go to think?
Read this character creation guide to create your female character as a person first.
Step 2: Goals and Motivation
Regardless of whether your female character is a protagonist or a side character, she shouldn’t exist solely to support another character.
Everyone has their own agenda. In the same way, your female characters should have their own goals and motivations.
They have their own lives, and they want something from those lives. What they want depends on how they grew up and the circumstances they’re in right now.
Beyond that, she would have external and internal conflicts that followed her goals and motivation.
Not only do readers relate more to a character who wants something, but they also tend to enjoy reading about one because it feels meaningful.
Step 3: Proactive vs. Reactive
Readers love a proactive character more than a reactive one. A proactive character initiates action and conflict, consequently, moves the story forward.
Writing a proactive female character, especially if she’s the protagonist, is important because you don’t accidentally want to make her seem dependent on other people to solve her problems.
There are many positive advantages of a proactive character. Here are some of them:
- Take choices that reveal who they are.
- Establishes a strong character presence.
- Moves the story forward.
- Captures the audience’s attention.
Step 4: Don’t Overcomplicate Appearance
How female characters’ appearance is portrayed isn’t just controversial in the writer’s world, but also in TV and the arts.
Female characters’ appearance is a common discussion both behind the scenes and in the fandom.
Female characters are often depicted as these beautiful creatures, regardless of circumstance. Their bodies are described in an excessive amount in a degrading tone.
Sometimes it’s the opposite, the female character is unattractive, which is, of course, the worst thing that could ever happen to her.
You don’t want to find yourself in either scenario or anywhere in between. Instead of doing anything said above, try to describe her as she is. Your narrator doesn’t have to say she is beautiful or ugly.
Step 5: Let Her Be Contradictory
This step is to give her a trait a little different than the usual advice, which is: “give her a mix of feminine and masculine traits.”
Real people are full of contradictions, which also means female characters are full of contradictions.
For example, a female character can be competitive while also being compassionate.
Rather than dividing attributes into feminine and masculine, give them a contradiction. Let them like one thing, but also the opposite. You should embrace complexity, not avoid it.
This is also laying the foundation for internal conflicts. To summarize, internal conflicts are when a character wants two or more things that they can’t have at the same time. Contradictory characters are often characters who struggle with internal conflicts.
Step 6: Challenge Stereotypes
When I told you to avoid stereotypes, I meant it. I stand by the argument that all women aren’t alike, all female characters aren’t alike.
However, ignoring the existence of stereotypes isn’t the answer. Some female characters are going to be traditionally feminine. They might exclusively like to bake, knit, read romance books, or be maternal. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean they’re stereotypical versions of women. Some women are like that, but not all women.
In other words, your female character can be “feminine” or “masculine,” but make it part of who they are.
Let’s use the previous example, the female character doesn’t have all those traditionally female traits solely because she’s a woman. She spent most of her childhood with her grandmother, whom she adored most in the world, but who has passed away. She is constantly influenced by her grandmother and likes to do the hobbies they used to share to remember her.
Moreover, you should challenge stereotypes by embracing and rejecting them.
Step 7: Growth
As humans, we’re constantly evolving. With each interaction with the world, our self is changing. Growth is one of the most human things ever. Is it not also a beautiful way to write a female character who feels like a woman?
Of course, not all characters are dynamic, but those dynamic characters are relatable and memorable. It’s a great way to show that a character who appeared stereotypical or flat can be multidimensional and authentic.
Writing Women, Not Females
I expressed strong opinions in this post. I must remind you, they’re opinions. You’re allowed to have different ones. On that note, your female character should have her own too; that’s what makes her feel like you and me.
These seven steps are one way to approach the mission. It’s a method to write female characters that many readers miss on the page.
